Pete Shaw Memorial Site

This website was inspired by the memory of Pete Shaw.

I've taken the liberty to collect Pete's poetry which he once had on his website called poetspensieve.com and republish them here now for his friends who knew him, and perhaps as well, to introduce him to those who didn't know Pete Shaw so well.  I am considering adding people's comments about Pete Shaw, any humorous historical anecdotes or statements about how Pete impacted our lives is welcomed and you can email me here those comments to be published on this page.   Knot4Prophet

Without further adieu, here are Pete Shaw's assembled poems preserved for posterity::

Hellish Poem About Heroin Addiction

A poem inspired by the daily life cycle of your average heroin addict. Surely a gruesome existence with a plethora of suffering perfect example of modern poetry.

Open your eyes in the morning a new day is dawning , can't stop yawning.
Legs ache , stomach quakes , soul breaks.
Need a bag need a fix time to pull tricks...
Puking bile feeling vile time is the trial.
Sweat starts to pour as I reach for the door , Just one more.
Ringing the dealers sending out feelers.
Found some it's low grade so satisfaction evades.
Ring round again get told ring back at 10 will I be alive by then ?
Sit there and think getting close to the brink do I need a shrink ?
Get back at 10:30 time to smoke dirty will I see age 30 ?
Inhale till I burst this addictions the worst.
Slump back on the bed as if I were dead body's like lead.
Fears thought feeling leave you others never believe you.
Drift off into sleep alarm goes beep beep beep.
Open your eyes in the morning a new day is dawning cant stop yawning.

Age Two Or Three I Start Being Me

Short poem about growing up, relationships, wants, needs and women.
 

Age two or three I start being me, already learnt how to walk talk and see.
Age four or five realized I was alive, better toys my mission I strived.
Age six or seven discovered heaven and hell, where's my gran go I yell.
Age eight or nine action mans mine, got the good one gun & zip line.
Age ten or eleven action mans in hell, I want a nintendo I started to tell.
Age twelve or thirteen girls know what I mean, want to try it ever so keen.
Age fourteen or fifteenth already done it know what I mean, regular girl bedroom unclean.
Age sixteen or seventeen was looking pristine, 24 year old girlfriend the bedroom the scene.
Age eighteen or nineteen I'd lost my theme, moved onto drugs the kind that suit mugs.
Age twenty or twenty-one the daemon is strong with me for life but that wont be long.
Age twenty-two or twenty-three I started to see destroying my life this isn't for me.
Age twenty-four or twenty-five back and forth to doctors barely alive, to be clean I strive.
Age twenty-six or twenty-seven too many friends already in heaven, I'm clean at last it's all in my past.
Age twenty-eight or twenty-nine get my life back it's mine, left with a fine the penance is mine.
Age thirty or thirty-one finding direction to the life I belong, calling it now banging the gong.

Waking Up And Starting Over I Didn't Creep In From Dover

A short poetic history lesson or trip through time let your own perception decide.
 

Once I was open brazen and bold drugs and women did damage untold.
Try them one time chasing divine some say it's sublime.
Broken hearted when love departed wish I hadn't started.
Drugs did me in inside my head I still hear the din.
Do I or don't I will I or wont I do I even know the reason why.
Clean but for what am I losing the plot I did it for what.
Four years on the worst almost gone I know I belong.
Moving on and moving up getting the feelin' I'm still a wee pup.
Directions unclear but there's not any fear I know I'm so near.
Waking up and starting over I just planted my four leaf clover.

Uploaded To Snapfiles They Host My Crapfiles

Some people can code applications some are built to serve the nations. I cannot yet least I try the compiler laughs and waves goodbye, short poem about coding.

Tried my hand at coding the syntax was foreboding.
Thought next I'll try scripting but damn that's a kiddie thing.
Coded an app tied into bootstrap it's not working o crap.
Codes unclean crash bang bye my beloved machine.
Discombobulate your source be strong with the force.
Oops to late source is open exploits await.
Uploaded to Snapfiles they host my crapfiles.
Complaints go to mailto I don't read them do you.

The Twisted Poetic Tale Of Thinking

These days if you feel down and express it your branded Emo just hope rod doesn't find you. Sorry that's Emo. Short poem about thinking, thoughts and using poetry to express them.
 

Sometimes I write things down to alleviate the frown
Sad things inside like the tears that have dried
Emo this and emo that they are just feelings can't that be that
Penance to pay it's hard not to stray but only today
This way and that now where's my head at o drat
Round and round same thoughts are profound, deep enough to drowned
Fucked up mucked up sometimes my mind should shut up
Cast it aside and share it divide

Ex Girlfriends Can Be Friends You See No Hidden Agendas Friendships Are Free

Poem about the one that got away there are some things one shouldn't say. One good reason why I write poetry today.
 

My ex girlfriend you see is a smart witty person with a degree her names Julie.
Teaches the next generation part of adulthood preparation.
Simple sweet with a life that's just neat once there was a space for Pete.
Owns houses galore but stress is far more tenants not paying back rent that's more.
Met her at the wrong time self confidence was not mine said some things that crossed the line.
Back and forth to the brink around the rink bottled up feelings starting to stink.
Split for a while perhaps just a trial she's not around I start feeling vile.
She's back on the scene but what can this mean is it for reasons that cannot be seen.
Gone once again I cant take the strain said goodbye for good what did she want maybe blood.
Always a lifelong friend you see this special woman's part of me said goodbye and set her free.
 

Ghosts Of Xmas Past Dealing Relationships Never Last

A previous past the futures a blast. Poetic tale of a dealing relationship and it's fate.
 

Sitting awake in a dreamlike state waiting for feelings to evaporate.
Took a trip to the past it wasn't a blast the feelings I had were not meant to last.
Walking around feet off the ground wheeling and dealing turning pennies to pounds.
Mounting the cash building the stash while my other half was brazen and brash.
Had the house had the car was due to go far almost made it to the local spar.
Warned by a mate to keep it a date .... Whoops inhaled to late shit sealed my fate
I walked out the door my stash on the floor what was it all for.
Left the house and the car I traveled not far.
Closed the door now I'm poor still searching for more.
Put my past life to rest no dealing that's best.
New place to reside not governed by pride I wont let it slide my past's gracefully died.
Here and now is my task what more could I ask.
Cleaned up my act made a new contract my self confessed pact.
Got a new plan I'm molding a man at least I give a dam.
The future who knows what comes and goes good things trouble, woe I'm glad I don't know only time tells and shows.

Tales Of Growing Up Waking Up Learning To Shut Up

More drugs than anything else but who's counting and more drug related poetry but who's counting.

Once I was open brazen and bold drugs and women did damage untold.
Try them one time chasing divine some say it's sublime.
Broken hearted when love departed wish I hadn't started.
Drugs did me in inside my head I still hear the din.
Do I or don't I will I or wont I do I even know the reason why.
Clean but for what am I losing the plot I did it for what.
Four years on the worst almost gone I know I belong.
Moving on and moving up getting the feelin I'm still a wee pup.
Directions unclear but there's not any fear I know I'm so near.
Waking up and starting over I just planted my four leaf clover.

The Twisted Poetic Tale Of Online Romance

People lie there's no escaping it reasons are as vast as the lies.

Chatting online is how I spent time, every now and again with a bottle of wine
A woman called Pammy Joanne Magee was almost the death of me see
looks that could kill, to see her's a thrill, heart starts racing, just like dropping a pill
Nursing is what she said to me didn't ask for proof, see I'm trusting that's me
No kids no hubby no ties and the promise of no lies, too good to be true sighs
Chatted for a year to alleviate the fear, I wanted meet her held her dear
Told family and friends we'll see it depends, what my heart recommends
Been here before thought I knew the score it ain't real, unless it knocks on your door
Turns out was all lies see Pammy Magee was Chrissy Norwood fat plain ugly
The looks that could kill belonged to Elaine Hill, running now you hear the fire drill
Chrissy Norwood see was plain boring ugly, personality fake manufactured for me
For reasons unclear she played games you will hear all males beware

The Cyber Sweet You Long To Meet

Attractions a very fickle thing it distorts feelings and the normal thought process. I guess this is a short rhyming love poem not the usual style but effective all the same. Probably wont see many more like this example.

Your all I've ever wanted yet all I've never known
Our meeting was pure accident but who would ever know
Falling was the easy part as if it doesn't show
I just want you by my side but this you surely know
You ask me why I love you but words just come and go
But if I have you by my side the reasons I will show
You wonder why you want me you fear your heart on show
But we both know deep down my dear our love will grow & grow
You ponder on my reasons and why I cannot say
But to lord god I do swear my love for you will stay
Your the sunshine to my darkness the flowers to my rain
I'll be with you through thick & thin I'll even take the strain
You wonder if I'll hurt you and throw it down the drain
But you need to understand to be without you is just pain
I'm better than I thought I was and this you'll come to see
I'll shout it from the hilltops and even climb a tree
I'll always be the better man because your the one with me
I'm not much good with words you see they are often cheap & free
That's why I write down things like this for you my love to see
I'll pray to god just this once you'll forever be with me

Twisted Friends Fate He's Finally At Heavens Gate

Sometimes in life you meet people very much like yourself or people with similar experiences. This poem was inspired by one of those such people a friend who's no longer with us. R.I.P Baz Jacklin
 

Wake up to the grind no feeling to find, Search for a cause no time to pause.
You struggle in vain they don't see your pain, yet you still hide your shame.
Your daily verse it's getting worse, wont be long before your laid in a hearse.
You try make things plain, why struggle? Just to remain...
Cant see an end, not willing to pretend.
Rest well my bro from here you go, to where I don't know.
Your struggle is over, found your four-leaf clover.
So when I'm frustrated, feel my life's being grated..
I'll think to the bus and the fuss we created!
We all met did some phet, rolled and got high to make work time fly.
At the end of the day said easy man, hey.
Baz was a lad, honorable mate that's what's sad.
He never was bad or fucked people over
So I guess he deserves his four-leaf clover...
Took the wrong path, you do the math.

SEO Give It A Go Build A Website Hell Lets Go

Short poem about bringing a website online choices made and the things to consider. The learning curve of creation, poetry like this is rare and sometimes makes for a very interesting niche audience.

Build a site I thought yea alright, I'll do it tonight.
Pick a design bring it online, try not to do it while drinkin the wine
optimise this and optimise that, images big o fuck it o drat.
link from here and link from there, don't accept links from anywhere.
Html php it's all greek to me, just edit be free like what you see?
Copyrights this and copyrights that, fuck it I'll use it ..I. to the prat!
Flash for this and flash for that, I'm not that fussed does it make me a twat?
Amazon Astore o fuck there a right bore, widgets galore o screw this no more.
Google use adds placed by savvy young lads, no porn here sorry dads.
It's called pay per click don't abuse it you dick, they track every click.
SEO makes it grow get ranked well I know, why don't you give it a go?
Contents a killer an original site filler, clear and precise Google loves it nice!

1:58am can't sleep yet again

Mind reeling remembering the feeling I cant sleep.

1:58am can't sleep yet again don't grasp why, just sit there and sigh
Flicking through cable tv wondering is there anything for me
Insomnia to feed so I'm rolling up weed, fresh grown from seed
Years of abuse left the feelings of no use, so am calling a truce
Drugs for this and drugs for that anything to get them even selling old tat
Ones to wake up too am tired should I double up and take two
Some to get you through the day, double again that's four today I'm feelin ok
Day drags on think fuck it thoughts be gone, dropping just another one
Evening draws in the bottles in bin what the fuck was my sin
Thank fuck for my weed screams my mind as it's free'd

Staying On The Dusty Wagon Finally Outrun The Dragon

Poems inspired by life experience such as this short poem that stems from one such life experience.
 

Thoughts are spinning round and round some are deep while others profound.
Shut the world out stand my ground I cant hear you did you make a sound.
It's my daemon my minion hound my ignorance and bliss abound do you see anyone around.
Check the papers see if he's dead that's what some of my close friends said.
Wake up in a lonely bed checked my pulse I am not dead self aware not made of lead.
Chased the dragon caught up to the wagon squatters rights not such a bad one.
Things seem real and start to get clear then begins the onset of fear I must exist be real be here.
Remember things you once held dear try them again get off your rear they are reasons to not live in fear.
Then comes all the normal shit late for work get out your pit cant stand it boss is a git.
Then you think me settle down keep this job have a woman around take on a different kind of hound.
Do the normal have a kid throw it a party hire a clown called syd remember back and lift the lid.
Grow old grow wise, if asked advice please this advise beware the minion hounds disguise.

The Pleasure And Pain Of Growing Lady Jane

The times trials and triumphs of a grower.

Living in a rented house the landlords quiet like a church mouse
Indoor growing with the landlord not knowing sneaky fucker am not showing
Started with original skunk damn good seller said my mate dunk
Two metal fours and a sodium six this shit am growing ain't stems n sticks
30 in veg and 30 in flower counting days and each passing hour
Cut 30 down put 30 in flower cloned them all I have the power
Leaf stems and sticks pressed into bricks mates can have that and sell it to dicks
Days go by and my crop starts to dry scales out ready hurry up or I'll cry
Two ounce a plant I'm starting to rant £7200 can you hear me pant
For a whole year I grew without fear until kick bang their here o dear o dear
The problem with me I was greedy you see my weed wasn't free

Heroin's One Of Life's Evil Drugs It's Not Just Limited To Thugs

Short poem about getting clean and leaving behind the heroin scene if your an ex junkie you know what I mean.

Tried to stop taking Heroin, drugs all around like a terrible din.
Tried to quit with Dyhdrocodine, impossible feat as am sure some have seen.
Tried to time and again, body living in constant pain daily routine under the strain.
Tried to with Methadones route, drugs a brute gets in your bones still lets you shoot.
Tried to with Subutex, a last resort tired of supporting my chemical cohort.
Tried to take it in my stride, it worked well I regained my pride.
Tried to forget what was inside, the chemical feelings within me reside.
Tried to leave it all behind, relax the strain let it unwind.
Tried to move on take a chance, getting older at first glance.

All Poems written by Pete Shaw ©2010